One fact is incontestable, if you never had a mother you would not be reading this.

Mothers come in all shapes and sizes, from every possible cultural background, of all political and social stripes, but all have that one thing in common, they birthed us or in some cases, adopted us as their own.

Getting beyond the cliches, we have to admit that not all relationships between mother and child are harmonious.  If you are part of a happy, Norman Rockwell sort of mother and child relationship then God bless, the rest of this post is not for you.

On this day set aside to honor those women who gave us life too often we hear the bitter, the acrimonious recounting of why one’s own mother is not worthy of honor.  Often these accusations come with justification but generally without the realization that perhaps that woman, or that girl, may have done the absolute best she could with the hand that life had dealt her.

As a child I often felt that my own mother should have done more with her life and the lives entrusted to her.  But in retrospect I realize that had she seen a brighter path she certainly would have followed it.  Not one of us can ever perform beyond the limits of our own vision, moms included.

For those whose mother-child relationships have taken the rocky road, I urge you to reflect and reconsider.  When pondering whether to forgive perceived past transgressions consider that you just might have an equal or greater number of transgressions in need of forgiveness by her.

And on forgiveness, it isn’t something we do for others, it’s a gift we give ourselves.  If I have wronged you and you forgive me, that act has no real effect on me.  The power of forgiveness resides only in that it allows you to lay the weight of that burden aside and use your energy for more positive pursuits.

If you hold a past grudge against your mother and she is no longer on this earthly plain, why not say an “AVE” for her and release those negative feelings.  You’ll feel better for it.

If she is still here then try to adopt a neutral stance, examine the matter impartially and perhaps gain an understanding of why events unfolded as they did.

If you still cannot find it in yourself to reach out, at the very least forgive what you consider to be the misdeed and move on.

I wish a heartfelt Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there.