An Unintentional Experiment

Materials needed:

One flip phone, make and model optional.  I used a Huawei from Consumer Cellular.

Pair of jeans, label, size and style optional.  I opted for Levi’s traditional 501 button fly, size 32X32.

A household washing machine.

One large zip-lock sandwich bag.

A container of rice, Uncle Ben’s or brand of your choice.

Procedure sequence:

Load dark load into washing machine.  Strip pockets of jeans currently being worn and place all objects on dresser.  Answer ringing phone and engage in overly long conversation.  Upon concluding conversation place phone into hip pocket of jeans, right or left, your call.  Complete several chores before returning to laundry.  Slip out of jeans and add to dark load.  Start washing machine.  Allow an hour or so to pass and then return to laundry in order to place load into dryer.  Discover flip phone at bottom of washing machine.  Utter expletive or expletives of your choice as you contemplate what further damage could possibly occur if you simply tossed the phone into the dryer to complete its cleansing cycle.  Counsel yourself against this action as you call to mind all the anecdotal tales you have heard about the miracle of rice.  Obtain zip-lock sandwich bag and rice from pantry.  Open back of phone and remove sim card and battery.  Place aside for (hopefully) future use.  Insert phone into bag and then fill to capacity with rice.  Allow to “marinate” for 36 hours.  After passage of allotted time remove the phone from bag, wipe off the residual rice “dust”, reinstall sim card and battery and, after crossing all digits not needed for the next step, operate the “on-off” switch.

If successful congratulate self and smile smugly.  If unsuccessful toss phone into container along with all the other “dead” phones awaiting recycling and order yet another one.

Me, I’m smiling smugly while wondering if the rice is still edible.